Jesus the Terminator?

With the release of the new Terminator movie, I wanted to re-watch the "older" Terminator movies before checking out "Salvation." After finishing the first installment, "The Terminator," I began "Terminator 2: Judgment Day." I came to the part when Sarah and John Connor with the T101 Terminator arrived at there "camp" where they stocked up on weapons and acquired a truck...and then God touched my heart with a realization.

During this scene Sarah is sitting on the picnic table watching her son, John, and the Terminator (Uncle Bob, haha) interact and play - as John taught "him" how to 'give me five' and various other human interactions. As she watches on she thinks to herself how crazy and incredible it is that this Terminator, the very one that was on a non-stop mission to kill her years ago, is now protecting her son.

She thinks to herself this..."Watching John with the machine, it was suddenly so clear. The Terminator would never stop, it would never leave him, and it would never hurt him or say it was too busy to spend time with him...it would always be there, and it would die to protect him... In an insane world it was the sanest choice."

When I was watching this, something became so clear to me. Clearer than ever before. Jesus will never leave us, He will always be there, and He died protecting us. Protecting us from the bondage of sin. Protecting us from endless death. God sent Him to protect our lives by giving His. Just as the Terminator gave his life to protect John Connor, Jesus gave His to save us...giving us new lives in Him. Jesus is on a non-stop mission of giving His love...making His glory known. In this insane world Jesus IS the sanest choice.

Of course I already knew this truth, but it is amazing how God reminds us and continues to show us His love in awesome and unexpected ways. I really never saw the "machine" from "T2" and "T3" in this light before. But after God revealed His love and mission to me again, this time in an awesome 'blockbuster' way, I am very blessed, and pleased to know, that Jesus...is my very own...Terminator!

Scars, outro

4 months, 2 days.....plenty of time for God to take a broken and scarred heart and give it light again. With a great body of believers and a new place to let God work, I have come to a place that I have long missed - being used by the Lord God. The only obstacle in my way was my way. I was not allowing God to be God...in my life, my situation. I love it when God shows up and crams something in my face. It's so refreshing and encouraging to know that the Mighty Creator cares that much...to just give you a face full of what you needed.

A journey would not be called a "journey" if what happened during the journey was not important. They already have words for that...like ending, or destination. I'm glad this journey has taken place and I believe that I have grown from it. It gives new hope to me for future trials and future darkness, and that is one of the most important things to know - knowing, when the darkness comes, where the light is.

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” - Jesus (John 8:12 esv)

Scars, intro

Wow. It's been a while. It seems as if my last few posts were just forced attempts at trying to say something spiritual. The truth is...I was fooling myself into thinking that I was doing myself a favor. I was also fooling myself into thinking that I was fooling God...that was foolish. So I took a long break from blogging after coming to this shameful conclusion. From this post on, I will not force blog, but only say something that is worth saying and something that I feel I need to say. I understand it may not be everyday.

Tonight I do have something that I believe is worth sharing. Something that I believe will help me with my current state of being. This post will be the first in a series of posts that will log my journey from where I am now to where I want to be. And where I am now is a place of hurt, a place of pain, a place of rejection, a place that I have been for a while now. A place of scars, that for almost a year, has not been dealt with, and has not been touched by the healing hand of God. Something has happened to lead me here, though I am the only one to blame for allowing myself to tumble to this place that I am. Something did shove me...but it was me who allowed the momentum to continue, I only needed to put my feet down...and I didn't. I didn't want to. I wanted to be mad. I couldn't stop feeling rejected. But no longer. I don't want to be here anymore. I don't want to hurt anymore. I don't want to have this same feeling of rejection that started some time ago. I want to let go. I want to give it to God. This is the day that I acknowledge my pain, my anger, my abscence from the Word, and God's absence from my heart (that being my doing of course, not Gods.) I miss the light, I miss the joy, and I miss the freedom. I want freedom from this place of grudge-holding and this place of not letting my mind and my heart move on. This will take time, and this will take prayer. ***If you are reading, your prayers are very longed for and appreciated deeply - thank you***

This will start the journey. My wife has been trying to help me through this, yet I have not really let her do so. I have decided that I cannot do it without her (Like I have to decide that!?) So we, as she was affected and deeply hurt as well, will begin this change and this progress together. As so we should. Tonight I have taken my first step out of this hole. Tomorrow I will work on another.
---Coming soon: Scars, outro